Disclaimer: This is a sympathy free blog – please do not “ahh” or say “poor thing”. I started this blog to be completely honest about myself, and this is about as honest as I can be. As much as I detest and hide this side of my life, it has made me the cynical (yet optimistic) person that I am.
If you’ve halfway followed my blog over the months, you’ve probably noticed I’ve lots of really great excuses for my lack of exercising and blogging. I come with you know, though, with a legitimate, honest betrayal of my whereabouts.
Many moons ago I briefly touched on my often ongoing battle with myasthenia gravis. Although I don’t typically feel 100% (I aim for 90%), my MG has reared its ugly head and has put me down faster than Urkele in a one-on-one match with Mike Tyson.
Since November I have been increasingly feeling worse and only starting really feeling better this week (but sadly still not great). MG is a strange disease; to the outsider you look pretty normal (other than what looks like a lazy eye from your muscles being tired) but internally your immune system is at war with your muscles. At my recent worst, I could barely walk up a small flight of stairs and I struggled to open a jam-packed clothes rack at Banana Republic while finding my size.
Due to my weakened body I haven’t been able to be very active and self-conscious 13-year old Phyllis has overtaken my mindset. If you’ve ever had any issues or problems in your life, I’m sure you’ve probably experienced a “woe is me” moment. Well…I’ve been deep in this slump and haven’t felt motivated to log into the blog, read other blogs, or even walk around the block.
To combat my symptoms, I have been overdosing on doctor appointments and performing top secret IV treatments and at-home therapies. So twice a week I give myself a subcutaneous injection of immune globulin (solution of antibodies made from donated plasma). The treatments really aren’t a big deal…but I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster since starting them.
Although there have been times in my life that I’ve been extremely sick from MG, I have never felt more “sick” than the day I had to put up a Sharps container next to my coffee maker. There is something very unnatural about having a closet full of medical supplies and a half-filled refrigerator of medicine. On the positive side, these geriatric home accessories have helped me grow into not-so-young name, Phyllis.
Even though my body’s strength can get worst within a day, it’s a long, slow progression to getting healthy. Right now, I don’t think I could even run a mile….but all in due time I’ll be back in shape. After months of these at-home treatments and a couple of IV treatments, I’ve finally starting feeling like I can start getting active again. However, this time I’m going to try something different.
From one treatment I acquired aseptic meningitis and decided that I can’t spend the rest of my life injecting foreign substances into my body (besides, there isn’t even room in my fridge for a thanksgiving bird from all the meds!! Priorities people!). So, since November I have been researching some alternative medicine and am developing some ideas on changing my daily habits (I’ll keep you posted as I do them).
So, I apologize immensely to the few people that follow me…I hope you understand that I’ve been trying to deal with crap and my crappy attitude.